Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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