I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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