I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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