At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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