Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
