Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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