Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
