it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
It was confusing and full of hummus
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
