After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
