my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
it was like his penis was on wheels.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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