Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
