is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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