We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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