i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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