ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Randomize
