Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize