Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
