Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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