A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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