I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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