Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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