I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
