At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
