fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
