I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
