I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
