with your own penis?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
