they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
