Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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