I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
