I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
