Just mADE A PArabola og urine
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
My ATM looks so different sober.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
