Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
