I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
sarcasm needs its own font
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
