I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
