He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
