we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
It's Friday. Sex?
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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