You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
