but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
