my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
