Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
