I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
