The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
