we have officially lost it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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