Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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