when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
