I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
