At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
