no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
