i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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