My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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