Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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