She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
nutella sex= disaster
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I need moral support for this bender
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
