He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
